I would give up every single gift I was given today if my family could just get along for once. Not just getting along, but desiring time spent together.
God showed me a lot of filth in my heart today. For as long as I can remember, I desire to get married and start a new family... a new, God fearing, Gospel-Centered family. And today, for the first time, God showed me how much of that is rooted in selfishness and brokenness. You see, there is an interesting thing about my personality... When I get frustrated, I tend to give up and move on. The broken thing about me today is that I think I have subconciously given up on my family. But you know what? It isn't just my family that is broken, it is me.
Before I can expect my family to change, I need to hope and desperately pray that God will change ME. I get upset that Christmas isn't about spending time. I get upset that my family can't spend a freaking hour together without fighting. and you know what? I don't try to change it, because I'm the broken one. I'm the selfish one.
Lord, Change my heart. For I am SO wrong. I can't possibly do any of this on my own.
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